Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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