Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize