in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
be right there i have to get my cape
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
