but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
