My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
