I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
