Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We were destined to go to rehab together
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Randomize
