someone threw a dead crab at me
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
