I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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