I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I touched a dick in church today
how drunk are you?
Several
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
