Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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