My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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