I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Did I show you my penis last night?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
