I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
