How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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