I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Boobs speak an international language.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
