Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
