fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
