I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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