the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
