i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
