The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
