I think I just saw someone hide a body.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize