My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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