If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
