Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize