dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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