take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
