How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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