This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
