Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
