so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
