happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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