Dual....:-)
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize