I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
