I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
