He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
