This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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