yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
