C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I want to have your abortion
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
