you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
