Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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