Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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