I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize