Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
