Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
