Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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