how can u be prego again
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
