Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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