after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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