after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
