theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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