if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
