The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
