I didn't shave. On purpose
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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