Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize