I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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