I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
