My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
