this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
