I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
