So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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