she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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