Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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