I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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