I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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