Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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