I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize