she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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