Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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