wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize