Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
